Leadership Roundtable w/ Mark Batterson

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Stretched

Have you ever felt stretched?  I mean, to that point where you feel like you are beyond your capacity.  There have been several times in life and ministry where I have been stretched.  But the greatest faith moment (“stretching”) has been the process of launching The Point Church.  It has been a great ride, but the stretching has been evident.

Stretching is a good thing.  It expands your capacity and influence.

Over the last 2 1/2 years + I believe that I have grown as a Christian, husband, parent, leader, teacher and friend.  The stretching has not always been easy.  In fact, when God stretches you it is a lot like working out – it hurts a bit, but ultimately it feels good!

Stretching is a growth thing.  It helps you achieve and live God’s plan for your life!

Where is God stretching you?  The more He stretches you, the more your capacity increases!

Lessons on Parenting/Ministry from Brian Houston

Here are some more learnings from Brian Houston, Pastor of Hillsong.  It was an amazing day of leadership.  I am still inspired and am applying many of the principles to my life & ministry.

Principles of Parenting:

• Every child has their own free will.  Don’t judge a parent/pastor by their kids.
• Be who you are in the pulpit and in private.
• Kids have bigger memories than you.  Watch your behavior.
• You will teach by who you are.
• Don’t make your kids suffer in ministry – let them see the joy of service to God – keep them away from the pains of ministry.
• Put your kids/spouse/family OVER the ministry.
• Let your kids be kids.
• Back the authorities of your kids.
• Don’t put too much pressure or expectations on them.  Hard to live up to.
• Non-negotiable – you live in my house and you will go to church.

Wow.  I loved this part of our time together.  Great wisdom from one of the great leaders in the Church.

Leadership Lessons from Brian Houston

Wow.  I had the amazing privilege to sit around a table with 18 others pastors from across the US for an intimate gathering with Brian Houston – Pastor of Hillsong.  I could not believe that I was included in this moment in history – considering the people who were invited and attended.  I was honored and humbled.  Still am.  We are such a young, small church with long-term visions and big dreams.  This was inspirational.

Here some leadership lessons from our day together.

• Everything must point to Jesus.
• Churches must contribute to spiritual growth – through teaching.
• Give an opportunity for salvation at every service.
• You get what you allow.
• Read the service – understand the life of the service and feel out what people need in that moment.
• Inject yourself – let your personality been seen, but not the focus.
• Pass the back row test – its easy to gauge a service by the front row, but look to the back.  Are the engaged?  bring them in.
• Never underestimate your people.  They are not stupid.
• Live within your authority.  “The only place you start at the top is when you are digging a hole.”  Leaders may not have the authority to say something – even if it is right.
• Think long-term, not short-term.  You may get what you want NOW, but will it be what you want in 5, 10, 15 or 20 years.
• Don’t manipulate – ever.
• Nothing is forever.  Don’t become too dependent on anything or anyone.

Brian gave us the key to REAL LEADERSHIP – “Ask more questions than you are telling.”

Wow.  6 hours of learning from one of the great leaders in the Church today.  So glad I was asked to be a part of it.  So glad I made it.

Launch Team Mistakes

I hard to believe that 3 years ago Mary and I assembled a Launch Team to help start The Point Church.  Crazy how time really flies!  We spent a lot of time teaching, praying, preparing and strategizing with this team of 44 people.  They are some of my greatest friends and biggest fans.  It sounds amazing to have that base of people – but fast-forward and only 8 are still part of our church (including my wife and I).

There were several mistakes I made with our Launch Team:

• We gave them an easy out.  Our Launch Team only had to commit for 6 months.  After that they could decide to extend or pull out.  Most pulled out after that timeline.
• I never thought the Launch Team would leave.  I honestly thought they would stay with us – once they saw the vision in motion.  When they left we were filled with holes in volunteers and finances.
• I assumed that people who never brought a friend to church would do it because we are the “cool”, new church.  Notice the sarcasm.  People did not change.  I expected different results from the same people.  Very few of our Launch Team members invited/brought tons of visitors – some did not bring any.
• I knew some of them way too long – many were part of my youth ministry.  I treated them like my kids at times and not ministers.  Big difference.  I was too comfortable with them and often could appear demeaning (that’s hard to admit).
• I tried to be who I was not.  Yep.  I was trying to figure out who I was and what kind of pastor I wanted to be.  I could not understand why people would not follow me.  I realized it later – I did not know who I was as a Lead Pastor – I was trying to figure it all out.
• I welcomed people on our Launch Team who loved us, but did not love our vision. That’s why so many left after the 6 month mark.  They helped “US” launch the church, but they did not embrace the vision  like we did.  This was the biggest and most devastating mistake.

Well, even though I made some mistakes as a leader.  Too many to blog about, I can still thank God that He is building His Church in Westbury.  We have grown by 30% in the last 2 years.  Nearly 200 people have started a relationship with Jesus.  53% of our church serves on a ministry team.  I could go on and on.

Here’s the key:  Make mid-course corrections.  Don’t be too proud to adjust your leadership style and your strategies.  It has made all the difference in the world at The Point!!!

Leaders Lead

I know that is sounds too simple, but “leaders lead.”  It’s that simple.  I know that the American Church has adopted the democratic system of church – vote on this, establish a committee for that and don’t do anything without consensus.  But yet leaders often feel trapped by that process.  I believe that God has called leaders to lead.

Great example.  Jesus.  He led his team.  The team did not lead him or redirect his vision to “seek and save those that are lost.”  They embraced his mission.  Jesus didn’t take votes.  He trained, raised up and released His Disciples to do the work of ministry.  It was that simple.

Yes, there are leaders who abuse their leadership.

I remember as we were developing a Constitution for The Point I attempted to create a succession plan for the Lead Pastor, but it came down to a “vote” – had to.  I remember the suggestion that “people want to vote on who their pastor was.”  My response was, “Israel wanted a king.  How did that work out?”  Pretty quick, but not the best response.  Although I believe in what I said, just not the way I said it.

Did God’s people vote on Joshua after Moses died?  Nope.  Joshua was God’s Man for that moment in history.  No vote necessary.

I also have met a lot of pastors who hide behind their Board.  Yep.  “I have to talk to the Board.”  “I need to get their permission.”  Now I know there are times when we need advice and wisdom, but don’t hide behind the Board for decisions you are well-able to make.

So how should a leader lead?

• With Character.
• With Competency.
• With Christ.

My prayer is that God would make me the leader he has called me to be.  A leader worth following.  A leader who laughs at life.  A leader who inspires a dream in peoples heart.

X Conference Updates

The X Conference is moving along.  We have an amazing lineup of presenters:

• Dino Rizzo
• Pete Wilson
• Herbert Cooper
• Buddy Cremeans
• Joel Hunter

These guys are amazing!  In our lineup we have one of the largest churches in the US and one of the fastest growing churches too.  Awesome leaders/pastors/friends!!!

One of the changes we have made is to create INTERACTIVES instead of workshops.  They will feature 2 of our presenters in each session and it will be Q&A … gonna be fun!

Plus we have added more time for NETWORKING – this will allow all our guests an opportunity to connect with other leaders and our presenters!

Get registered today … www.xconference.pointchurch.tv

A Little Insanity

When you go back to Joseph’s first dreams you have to admit it sounds crazy … yea … “Sure, our little brother is going to rule over us.”  Crazy, right?

Joseph was the youngest – why would the youngest ever get the position of honor?  That is reserved for the first-born.  The audacity of Joseph.

Well, crazy people are usually pretty audacious … they are filled with a shameless boldness.

Why was Joseph so bold about this dream?  Because it was from God

We must let the size of our God determine the size of our dream.

You and I serve a HUGE God … bigger than any problem … sickness … sin … pain … past experience … obstacle … or hang-up!  He is able to turn any situation inside-out, upside-down and right-side up for His Glory.  Just look at Joseph … for 13 years is waited believing the dream that God shared!

Crazy!

Here’s a verse for our church today – Zechariah 4:10: “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin…”

The work at The Point has begun … God is rejoicing at our insanity to believe that one day this church will impact Long Island … reaching more and more people than ever before … God is smiling at our hopes … because it is His hope.

Crazy Dreams

It was a July day in 1401 when The Cathedral at Seville in Southern Spain decided to build a new church.  The whole church met in the Court of Elms and according to oral tradition the members decided – “Let us build a church so great that those that come after us may think us mad to have attempted it.” To this day it stands as the 3^rd largest church in the world.  In the minutes of the meeting the church wanted to be a church “like no other.”

Wow … when I read this last week I was reminded of something that I wrote in 2007 about The Point – this church, this place we are at today … that we would build a church “like no other.”

No great church has ever been built without a great dream.

No great business has ever started without an audacious dream.

No great life was ever built in the absence of a huge dream.

Man, whatever happens – when people look at us – when other churches look at what we attempt to do – let other Christians be inspired by our commitment – and let everyone else think that we are insane … because I am filled with a CRAZY DREAM for an amazing God!

Let’s jump right into our guiding Scripture for today … Genesis 37:1-11 … and we are going to learn a few lessons from two CRAZY DREAMS that Joseph had … here we go … “Joseph, a young man of seventeen” – how old?  Seventeen – “was tending the flocks with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives, and he brought their father a bad report about them.  3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. 4 When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him. 5 Joseph had a” – Joseph had a what? “a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. 6 He said to them, “Listen to this dream I had: 7 We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.”  8 His brothers said to him, “Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?” And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said. 9 Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. “Listen,” he said, “I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.” 10 When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, “What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?” 11 His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind.”

Could you imagine telling your brothers and father that one day you will be their PRESIDENT!!!  Most of us would laugh our heads off if our brother/sister told us that.

Not Joseph’s brothers.  They decided to sell him as a slave and told their father he was killed by a wild animal.

Imagine this … Joseph has 2 dreams that he would be ruler – and he ends up as a slave.  Now he’s in Egypt and is falsely accused by Potiphar’s wife – he now ends up in an Egyptian prison.

Wow.  How quickly would we have forgotten about that dream?  We would walk away from that dream passing it off as bad food that night.

Then Joseph is given an opportunity to interpret 2 more dreams – from prison – a baker and a butler share their dreams.  Joseph explains them.  The baker is killed.  The butler is freed.  The butler promises to remember him … but he forgets Joseph.

Years go by and Joseph is still forgotten.

Pharoah has a dream that no one can figure it.  It was then that the butler remembers Joseph.  Pharoah calls for Joseph – Joseph explains the dreams to him.  Pharoah is so impressed that he makes Joseph ruler of all of Egypt!!!

Joseph experienced 13 years of what might look like a failed dream – but God ultimately made Joseph’s dreams a reality!

13 years!  C’mon God!

Have you ever had a dream?  A hope?  And waited … and waited … and waited.

The problem is we want everything NOW … are you willing to wait?  Are you following your dreams for the long-haul or the short-term?

Pursue the God-sized dreams you are called to seize!!

Maintaining Your Marriage in Ministry

Marriage is the sacred union between a man and a woman.  According to Barna Research divorce rates among conservative Christians are significantly higher than other faith groups, and much higher than Agnostics and Atheists.  That hurts!  With Christ in our marriages they should be succeeding!

Why is that marriage fail?

• Sexual Unfaithfulness (this does mean just sex either – porn, lust, etc)
• Financial Mismanagement
• Miscommunication

You could add so much more to that list, but that’s the BIG 3.  I have seen more Christian marriages falling apart at the seams in the last few years.  It pisses me off.  Yep, I said it.  I get so mad when I hear another story.  God originated marriage and we have distorted it.  It’s so easy to cheat – look at the porn in the privacy of your office – no one will ever know.  It’s easy to miscommunicate – especially when husbands are working 40-60 hours per week and hanging with friends more than family.  It’s easy to mess up financially – the current financial situation makes poor financial decisions come to the surface.

Marriage requires work, honesty, integrity, commitment, patience, understanding and so much more!  If marriage was easy we would not have divorce!  Simple, but true.

Marriage in the ministry requires a lot of work.  I have the most amazing woman in the world – Mary is everything I could ever have dreamed of – I mean, everything.  She surpassed all my hopes and expectations.  So why would I ever risk forfeiting that!!!  It has been an amazing 9 year journey so far …

So how do we maintain our marriage in ministry …

• I am home more than I am away.  I used to keep a pretty rigid schedule – 5-6 nights a week out doing “ministry.”  Today I am home 5-6 nights per week maintaining my marriage & family.  Plus I try to limit my travel time, unless I can take my family with me.
• I pray.  This is an overlooked marriage builder, but I pray for our marriage.  I have a prayer mantra that I have prayed for 9 years – “Lord, keep my eyes only for my wife.”  I want to make sure that no other woman would ever captivate me like my wife.  Prayer keeps my emotions in check.
• I read God’s Word.  Yep, another simple one.  Did you know that reading the Bible 4 times a week or more creates a 70% decrease in adultery and a 60% decrease in online porn (according to ABS).  Reading God’s Word strengthens our marriages.  And not for sermon content, but for personal growth!!!
• I have no best friends of the opposite sex.  I do not share or confide in any member of the opposite sex.  I have placed safe-guards in our marriage to make sure that my spouse is my confidant.  No private dinners or coffee appointments with females – ever!!!
• Many family nights.  We spend so much time as a family that they have become irreplaceable.  I could not imagine life with any other people.  In fact, I can’t remember what life was like before my family.
• My marriage is my priority.  If that means avoiding phone calls or not answering emails in order to spend time with Mary than that’s what I will do.  I have made a commitment to let nothing drive a wedge in our marriage.
• Communication is the key.  With a crazy busy ministry schedule Mary and I have to constantly talk about balance.  And there are times that I have to pull back and re-adjust my schedule.  Now with Malachi is 1st grade we have to really communicate!
• Guard social media relationships.  I can’t believe how “open” people are on facebook or twitter.  It is almost sad.  People will share their deepest emotional struggles and pains with people they don’t know – we can’t fall into the “savior” mentality.  Watch out who you follow and friend!
• Talk about your spouse in your sermons.  Let the church know the value of your marriage.  Don’t be silent on the most important “earthly” relationship you have.  Let men know your wife is a priority to you!  Let women know to stay away from you because you are devoted to your spouse.  SIDE NOTE – don’t share negativity or make fun of your spouse publicly – only honor & praise!!!

I am honored and humbled that God has allowed me the privilege of doing ministry and having a marriage.  My prayer is simply that “God would allow our marriage to be a testimony that it works when God is in it and the safeguards are in place.”